Thursday, April 23, 2009

my inner fancy girl.

Today is so funny. I feel like a “fancy girl”. Do you know what I mean?

I know some girls (women), and probably you do too, and everything about them always seems so polished and pulled together. Everything they do seems so much more graceful, and even if you are both doing the exact same thing, you always feel like the fancy girls can pull it off and you just look like a big shmoe. My friend Allison and I used to call these kinds of girls “The Scarves” because they seemed to be the only people we knew who could pull off wearing scarves. (Although in the past year or two, scarves have kind of taken over and now many (less fancy) girls wear them. Which is fine, but ruins our clever terminology.)

Anyway, yesterday I picked up a couple of new pieces of clothing – black dress pants, a pair of black pointy-toed kitten heels, and the sweetest grey and white short-sleeved sweater. And I kid you not, I feel like a fancy girl.

This morning I cut up my strawberries, for my granola, as I always do – but I felt dainty.
I washed my hands in the bathroom and I felt polished.
I am typing emails and editing video and just doing regular work stuff but I feel strangely graceful. It is true, people, I feel like “A Scarf”.

It’s weird because for most of my life I thought of myself as big-boned. Awkward. Even elephantine. Like the tuba in rooms filled with clarinets and flutes. And obviously I have miles to go before I’m done this ‘weightloss journey’, but I’m starting to feel, even now, like deep down I might actually be … delicate. I might have an inner fancy girl.

I also had the following kind-of awesome conversation with my boss this morning:

Her: Your hair looks nice today, did you do something different?
Me: Yeah, I straightened it -- I bought these new clothes yesterday so I felt like having nice hair today too!
Her: [pausing, looking at me thoughtfully] You are really transforming, you know?
Me: Yeah, I’m totally a beautiful butterfly.

I know I responded glibly, but I think that comment is going to stick with me. I really AM transforming. I wrote, way back when I first started this blog, that “a change has come to Andrea”. I guess I was right.