Friday, May 1, 2009

my really bad day.

So much crap has happened in the last 24 hours.

- my great aunt passed away suddenly. Well I suppose not so suddenly because she's in her 80s and has been in assisted care for as long as I can remember, but still. It's sad to see her go.

- my mom left my dad back in January and that was a whole horrendous ordeal in itself, but it also put her in a REALLY tough spot financially. Then yesterday she lost her job.

- My WW leader wasn't in last night, and the substitute leader was horrible -- she was so annoying and I honestly considered leaving many times through the meeting. THEN I found out our regular leader is actually taking a leave of absence and this new leader is going to be with us for at least the next two months. I'm going to have to look seriously at what to do because I feel like Lynn and that meeting were such big parts of my success.

- I only lost a measly 0.4 lbs even though my scale at home was showing me being down 3-5 lbs all week and I know I'm being totally childish to include that point in this list of other bad things but I don't care. I worked so hard this week.

I feel entitled to do some major comfort eating, but the (sort of) sad thing is that doesn't even really appeal to me anymore. I can't imagine how food would help right now. And as much as it's probably good to be in that place, I also feel like I've lost one of my most reliable coping mechanisms.

I feel at such a loss today. I feel like I'm flailing, in a big old sea of shit.