Well, I had my first meeting. It was not as bad as I’d feared.
I almost didn’t make it at all – I had planned to sneak out of work a little before 5, to give myself time to get there, but instead I ended up getting caught up in a project and only leaving around 5:15. I practically ran to the subway, only to find the platforms packed because of some delay. I waited and finally crammed myself on the next train, even though there really wasn’t enough room for me. Standing pressed up against all those other people, I had to wonder if they hated me for how much room I was taking up. I thought, “Maybe someday I won’t take up so much room.”
Of course, I came out the wrong exit from the subway station, and had a tricky time finding the meeting, but I finally did, just in time for the meeting start. The leader seems nice – she’s enthusiastic and funny, both of which I like. There seem to be some ladies who chat the whole way through the meeting, and of course I was sitting right behind them, so I’ll try to avoid that next week.
There were two other girls who were new, and one of them I liked instantly, even before I realized she was new like me. I hope she sticks around.
I didn’t get to weigh in until after the meeting, but the end result was (dun dun duh dun) 251.4 lbs. Which to be honest is not nearly as bad as I was expecting (I thought more around 275-280.)
The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I had started at 246, and gone down to 204, a loss of just over 40lbs. Thinking that I was at 280 was so depressing because of that – I thought, even if I lose 40lbs again, I’ll only be where I STARTED last time. So I feel really optimistic now, knowing that’s not the case. Only my first 5lbs will be ‘wasted’, getting back to that start weight. Of course, it’s frustrating to have to lose the same 40lbs again, but it is what it is.
The meeting is conveniently located right above a giant grocery store, so afterwards I popped down to pick up some foods to keep at work. I got yoghurt, almonds, cheese strings, apples, baby carrots, instant oatmeal, and a couple frozen burritos. I also got a strawberry banana smoothie and a fruit and nut chocolate bar, just as a last hurrah. I ended up not finishing either of them, and stuck the leftovers in the fridge.
Things feel different already. Change has come to Andrea.