Monday, April 26, 2010

real food robot.

I have been avoiding talking about this but I’m still very frustrated with my recent weight loss, or lack thereof. I typed out a long chronology of my weight these past few months, but I decided it was too boring to post. Suffice it to say that I have only lost 10 lbs since November, despite putting in what I consider to be a very good amount of effort. And I know that's not the end of the world, and that it's still going in the right direction, etc. But every time I mention this to people, or weigh in at Weight Watchers, they give me this look like they feel so sorry for me because I'm clearly NOT trying anymore and this is clearly just the first step towards regaining everything I've already lost.

Okay, maybe I'm projecting a little.

But honestly, I have no idea what to do anymore, and I have tried all the typical stuff like: eating more, eating less, shaking up my workout routine, eating different foods, eating more real foods and less processed, drinking more water, etc. Now everything I do fills me with doubt.

I’m so exhausted with thinking about it all the time that I’ve decided to stop. Thinking about it, that is. In this month’s issue of Clean Eating Magazine they have a 2-week eating plan* (actually I think they have them every month). It’s all balanced out and calorie-controlled (around 1500-1700 calories a day) and it seems to involve a lot of foods I would enjoy eating, so I’ve decided I’m just going to do that for the next two weeks. Then I don’t have to make any decisions myself, just plod along like a real-food-robot. I’m also going to not drink for the two weeks.

Will I lose any weight? Honestly I have no idea any more. Maybe I will, because it’s different foods and more snacking and it might shake things up a little. But it’s also more calories than I typically eat in a day, so who knows? But the important thing is, I don’t think anyone could look at this eating plan and say there’s anything wrong with it, so at least even if I don’t lose anything, I’ll know I’m eating properly and not second-guess myself every time I put something in my mouth. It’s not the healthy eating that’s hard for me these days, just the constant doubt. I’m hoping that taking a two-week break from that will help clear my mind.

I also figured it would make good blogging material, so I’m going to be photographing my eats for the next two weeks, along with any thoughts I have on the plan as I go along. So look for the first post later today.

I hope this doesn’t sound gimmicky or like I’m searching for some quick fix, because it always depresses me when I see people doing that. Honestly I just need to not stress about this stuff for awhile, and this is a safe way to take a break, without actually, you know, taking a break.

*Not the same plan that is on the website.