Monday, March 16, 2009

i go around round round round i go around.

I finally bought some new sneakers! Yippee! I got these very cute Saucony's, which are good for people like me who over-pronate (meaning I put all my weight on the inside edge of my foot.)

So far they feel … strange, but the sales guy said I should expect that for awhile, because I'm not used to wearing properly fitting shoes. But I'm only going to wear them indoors for a couple of weeks, and wipe them off after every use, just to give myself the option of returning them if they don't stop feeling strange. But I did an hour of walking DVDs yesterday to try them out, and although they still felt 'strange', I didn't get the ache in my arch that I usually get, so I'm hoping that's a good sign.

The truth is, I'd really like to take up running but for some reason I've been hesitating. I love the idea of running – it just seems so healthy to me, to be able to go out and run and not have your lungs and legs buckling beneath you. I lost a bit of weight one time before, and I did start running, so I know I can do it. I sucked at first but I kept at it, and eventually I could run a mile without stopping which felt seriously amazing. But I've been really scared to go out and try it again for some reason. I guess I need to just suck it up and do it, right? Embrace hard and all that?

Sometimes, though, I look at people who are fit and it just seems like it's so far from here to there. Even just the other day, I challenged Shaun to do some push-ups, and when he was done, he leaped back to his feet. Like, leaped up, from push-up position, to his feet. I can't do that. At all. For me, getting up off the ground is basically a 12-step process. And I don't think that will change JUST by losing weight – I don't think it's just that he's 50lbs lighter than me. It's arm strength and leg strength and core strength and so on. It's a kind of whole body fitness that I have no idea how to achieve because I've NEVER had that, not even when I was a kid. Other kids would climb fences and trees and jump over hedges and I would … go around.

I'm tired of going around, but I have no idea how to do anything else.