No, don’t get too excited – unfortunately my Biggest Loser moment was NOT on the scales. In fact, this week I managed to stay exactly the same. Yeah. Basically, see yesterday’s post, now times two.
Afterwards, though, and I had boot camp. Our instructor – wait, sorry, DRILL SARGEANT, Kelly was kind of riding me all night. Not quite Jillian Michaels style, but getting there. It started right at the beginning when we were doing our walking lunges. She came up beside me, looked me up and down, and said, “Lady, you have been SHRINKING!” She complimented me a bit on how far I’d come, how much of a difference she could see, how good my lunge form was and then… “NOW GET THAT KNEE DOWN FURTHER I WANT TO SEE YOU TOUCH THE GROUND! TOUCH IT! TOUCHHHHHHH ITTTTTTTTT.”
And it was like that all night. My kicks had to be higher! My push-ups lower! My punches harder! Don’t get me wrong, she was really positive about it. It was more like “You’re doing so great you’re a million times stronger than when you started now I know you can do even better!!” So I appreciated that, even though it definitely makes the class a LOT harder.
Anyway, one of our last moves in the class is the plank, which is for some reason, the move that sticks in my craw the most. I am TERRIBLE at it, yet it’s the one that I feel the most determination to get good at. We’re supposed to hold it for a minute, and when I started I could literally do about 3 seconds. Now I can usually manage 10 consecutive seconds at the beginning, and I can get back up a few more times over the course of the minute, for a total of maybe 30 seconds. So that’s a big improvement already, but last night Kelly decided I could do even more.
She parked her mat next to me and was barking out encouragement like “You can do this, 10 more seconds, let your shoulders take some of the weight, I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS”.
And honestly I don't know if I’ve ever pushed so hard in my life to do something. I kept falling but pushing myself back up. I was breathing crazy like I was in labour or something, and my whole body was shaking.
Finally it was over. Kelly went back up to the front of the class, and I pulled myself into child’s pose and … started sobbing.
WHAT?
It was so weird! It totally came out of nowhere. It’s not like I was in pain, and I wasn’t feeling frustrated or disappointed with myself or anything like that. Luckily no one saw me because I was at the back of the class and it was already dark outside by the point. We moved into our cool down, where we lie on our backs for a bit, and I just stared up at the sky and kept sobbing.
Anyway, that’s why I felt like I was on the Biggest Loser. Mandy, Aubrey, Laura, and Tara – I totally apologize for every time I made fun of you for crying during your workout!
It made me wonder, actually, if it was something chemical happening. You know there are always hormones and chemicals and tons of other stuff happening in your body beneath the surface – it made me wonder if something gets triggered, once you go past a certain point of normal endurance? Some extension of the fight or flight response? Does anyone know if there’s any truth to that, or am I just talking out my ass here?
Anyway, aside from the mini-breakdown, I had a great workout. I’m still bummed about the lack of weight loss, but I don’t think I’m a lost cause just yet.:)
