Tuesday, February 2, 2010

reloaded.

Guys, thank you for all your wonderful and supportive comments on my last post. I posted that stuff to get some objective feedback, but I was unprepared for the level of caring everyone showed. (Although I don’t know why I would be surprised, since you’re always like that!) Honestly, though, sometimes you guys just blow me away.

Some thoughts on the comments:

- Most people were in favour of sticking with WW, and I think you’re right. It might be stressful right now, but as Enz said, at the end of the day, this is my journey, and I want to be able to remember and be proud of the whole thing – not just the easy weeks.

- Some of you suggested getting rid of / hiding my home scale. Still thinking about that one. I think that in the long run it does me more good than harm, but I’m going to mull it over some more.

- Some of you also suggested weighing in at WW but having them hide my weight from me. Thinking about this too. The thing is, I feel like I am actually not TOO stressed about the plateau – I’m more stressed out by what I feel are other people’s expectations (ie, the WW staff, my friends, family, coworkers, you guys, etc.)

- Further to that, I have sort of come to realize that part of the reason I’ve BEEN successful is because I was so afraid of failing in front of everyone. And that worked as a motivator, so I think that subconsciously I kept building the pressure up in my mind, making it seem like everyone desperately wanted and needed me to lose this weight (not exactly needed, but do you know what I mean?) I guess what I’m saying is that none of those people actually ARE putting that much pressure on me, but in my head I’ve let it seem that they are, because it was useful in propelling me forward. But now it’s become a burden. Now that my weight’s not moving as much, the pressure is hurting more than helping. So now I have to figure out how to get rid of it and … gasp … learn to do this in a way that’s only for me, and not to impress you guys or the WW staff or anyone else. Wow. (That huge realization brought to you by totally zoning out on the walk home from Boot Camp. Endorphins make you SMRT.)

- Many of suggested going back to basics – measuring, weighing, talking to my leader, looking closely at what I’m eating, etc. YES, I think you guys are absolutely right on that. And even if it turns out my ‘plateau’ isn’t caused by any of those things, it’s not like it hurts to brush up on them. So this week I’ll definitely be doing that (I already measured by yogurt and honey, and funnily enough it turned out I was UNDERestimating my serving size. Nice.)

- Many of you also suggested a general clean-up of my food choices, and going back to as many whole / real / unprocessed foods as possible. As seattlerunnergirl said, the quality of the calories can matter as much as the quantity. So true, and I think I kinda resisted that, because up until now I’ve been able to lose eating whatever I wanted. But I guess as I get closer to my goal, (and as I become more active) I have to actually examine what’s going into my body. Dang.

- Julie also said something which cracked me up which was “Step away from the saltines.” Ha ha! I don’t know why, but I found that really funny, and I’ve been repeating it to myself all day, even in regards to foods that are NOT saltines. Like when my coworker offered me some of his wife’s leftover birthday cake (Side note: sending your leftover birthday cake to work with your husband? Hmm, sounds like his wife is a weight watcher too! Ha ha.) Anyway, he kept offering me cake and I DO love cake, so I started considering ways I could work it into my points and finally I just said to myself, “Andrea! STEP AWAY FROM THE SALTINES.” Totally worked! And made me laugh, so it didn’t feel like a hardship, you know? Whatever works.

Okay, this post is already super ultra mega long, but I want to sum up by telling you all the plan for this week (for accountability’s sake!)
  • Yesterday I took the time to actually plan out every meal for this week.
  • Almost everything is real food, but also food that I like and will feel good eating. I did leave room for a couple of splurges on the weekend, and some wine with the TO bloggers on Saturday!
  • Bought all the groceries needed for the planned meals.
  • Stepped away from the saltines and actually threw them in the trash. (Sorry starving children in Ethiopia.)
  • And … I will go to my WW meeting today. Even though I desperately wanted to skip it and had basically already decided to. I will go and face the gain and keep going from there. At least then I’ll be sure that I’m really doing everything I can.