Ok. I am not one to post on here when I am not feeling the best. I dunno, I feel like this kinda stuff is unpleasant to read. But tonight I am overwhelmed with it, so here we go.
Anyway. ANYWAY. I have had a great week. Which I needed after last week’s more indulgent week. (Which I was fine with -- whatever, a week ‘off’ is not the end of the world, etc. I think a more indulgent week once in a while is fine!) My only aim was to make sure had a good week to compensate. I like to think that in general, I have a pretty balanced approach to weight loss -- So I didn’t punish myself about last week, I just followed up the indulgences with a really good week. And I was almost finished with the week. The only social event I had left to manage this week was a Sunday brunch, which .. no problem, right? Brunch, no big deal.
Yet somehow brunch turned into a 12-hour affair and I ended the day using up 50 extra points. FIFTY. Five-Oh. And I had 23 flex points left, so that ate them all up, and it ate up the 20 activity points I’d earned, and it put me over for the week. And I did not want ANOTHER CRAPPY WEEK! And I spent the week trying so hard to be good and it all went out the window just because of an afternoon spent drinking cheap rum and eating corn chips. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN??????
The thing is, I had the BEST day. The kind of day I’ve needed, with friends and sunshine and adorable little children. And I felt so refreshed, coming home, even laughing at the obnoxious people on the streetcar instead of giving them my typical ‘urban scowl’. I had a great day. And then I came home, and I added up my points and suddenly I HATED my day.
And I hate that I hated it!! I hate that I can have a great day and ruin it with points. But I hate that I am STILL so gluttonous that one day can do that much damage. When will I hit the point where I can just be normal?
Maybe never. That’s what I hate. That’s what I hate most of all.