In
the past three months, a lot has happened. Shaun and I got engaged. We got a dog. And we bought a house. It has been wild and amazing and
insane and overwhelming. I feel so happy, most of the time. I have everything I ever wanted.
But … that’s part of the problem. I have everything I ever wanted. So now what?
This
past month or so has been stressful, in a way that I wasn’t at all
prepared for. PLEASE don’t think I’m being unappreciative, because I
absolutely am not: I love Shaun and our home and I love getting to know
Riley and snuggling his sweet face. Everything I have makes me so happy I
feel like pinching myself.
But I am person who always seems to be working towards something. And now I feel like I don’t have a something anymore.
Shaun
and I are pretty sure we don’t want kids, so that’s not coming up. And
we don’t want a big wedding, so I don’t even have wedding plans to throw
myself into.
Instead, the big questions have been coming up.
1. What now?
2. What do I want to do with my life?
2. What do I want to do with my life?
3. What is my purpose?
4. Do I even have a purpose?
5. What’s my next big goal?
I
don’t have answers, and to be honest, I feel more than a little lost. Those are big
questions, and I feel like I’m drifting around in this big empty cavern
of what could be my life. How do I put up the walls, the floor, the
roof, when I don’t know what I want the house to look like?
I
have ideas. I’ve always wanted to write a novel. I’ve always wanted to
start my own business. I could get back to weight loss, set myself a big
fitness goal or learn a new skill. There are options. I just don’t know
where to start.
Anyone else ever find themselves in this position? What did you do?