contest results ... and my results too!

Guys, you want to know something? I have been so excited about my contest! Every day I look at how many entries I have and then I go to a random number generator, and I click it, ‘just to see who would win if the contest finished now!’ Yes, I am that much of a dork.

But today at noon I did the ‘official’ draw, and the winner is:

Anne! Congratulations! And I swear I did not pick her just because she is sick of soup just like I am!

Anyway, Anne, email me your mailing address at acakeforawife@gmail.com, and I’ll get it set up for you!

And, since last night was my last bootcamp session, I thought I’d share my results from that too!

I’ve included my measurements from back when I first started, in April. The middle numbers are my measurements at the end of the first 8-week session, and the last numbers are my measurements from last night, after the second 8-week session.

Upper Arm (left): 15 / 13 / 13
Upper Arm (right): 14.5 / 13 / 13
Chest: 43 / 40.5 / 39
Waist: 40 / 39 / 36.5
Hips: 50 / 45.5 / 43
Buttocks: 52.5 / 50 / 48
Upper Thigh (Left) 30 / 29 / 29
Upper Thigh (right) 31 / 29 / 28.5

I’m super happy with that! I lost 17” in my first 8 weeks, and another 8” in the next eight weeks. Wow! That’s 25 inches over 16 weeks!

But you know, at the risk of getting all sappy, this class has been about so much more than inches for me. I have never been a physical person. Not even as a kid. I’ve always been a thinker, a reader, a writer, a worrier, a daydreamer, a planner, a list-maker, a wisher and a hoper. I do everything on the inside, and nothing on the outside. I suppose some of that was because even as a kid I felt lost in my own body, but I think it became a cycle: the more I focused on mind stuff, the less I focused on body stuff, and the less connected I became to my body.

Going to Booty Camp for the last 16 weeks, and working out with Kelly has totally changed my mind about what I’m capable of. I’m not even kidding. I don’t even know how to say this without sounding like a total suck. I just … I never thought I could be strong. I really didn’t. I thought I could be smart and talented and funny and tons of other good stuff, but I thought being strong was for other people. People who were built for it. But what I learned from Kelly is that I AM built for it. And that I’m not crazy or delusional to want that for myself.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is Yay Booty Camp! I will miss you!

half-way.

I realized the other day that I might be half-way to my goal.

I say ‘might be’, because I’m not entirely sure what my ‘goal weight’ is. But according to Weight Watchers, it’s 155 lbs, for my height (5’6”). Which would mean losing 102 lbs total. And as of this week, I’ve lost 51 lbs.

So I might be half-way to my goal.

Half-way is such a strange place to be. It makes you realize exactly how far you’ve come, AND it simultaneously reminds you of how far you have to go. And the happier you get, the more credit you give yourself for allllll you’ve accomplished, the more you realize you have to do alllllll of it again.

But I think half-way is a good place to be too, because once you go one step further, you’re officially closer to the end, and it’s easier to keep going than to go back. I remember learning that lesson a few times when I was a kid, when I’d been overly ambitious about how far I could walk or swim. I’d be exhausted and complaining but as soon as I was one step past half-way, my mom would point out that it was easier and faster to just to go forward to our destination, than to turn around and go back.

So, I’m half way there. And I’m going forward, because there is NO WAY I’m going back.


PS: Don’t forget to enter my contest to win a subscription to Cooking Light! I’ll be doing the draw tomorrow morning so this is your last chance!

WI results and a new goal.

WI today and I was down just 0.4 lbs. That’s okay though! I know that summers are always a lot more social for me (read: involve a lot more going out and eating and drinking), so I’m happy just to be continuing the downward trend. Total loss now: 51 lbs!

No big social plans for this coming week though, AND my gym membership kicks in Saturday so next weigh in should be good.

I was noticing that I am exactly 6.6 lbs away from being under 200 lbs – yes, that glorious terrain they call “onederland”. Coincidentally, my birthday is exactly six weigh-ins from now. So I’m thinking … 6.6 lbs in 6 weeks? I can do that! I never assign myself timelines for losing, but this one might give me the little boost I need to get through the rest of the summer. It’ll be my ‘devilish’ birthday challenge! (Get it? 6.6 / 6 ? I crack me up!)

So … 199.8 by September 10. Or bust!

PS: Don't forget to enter my contest to win a subscription to Cooking Light! And don't be shy about entering even if you aren't a regular commentor. I know from my stats that I have quite a few readers, and just knowing you all are out there helps keep me focused. :)

the party continues - my first give-away!

I feel like I’ve been on a non-stop blog party all week! First losing 50 lbs, then getting a blog makeover – what’s next???

You guessed it – a give-away!

I was thinking over the weekend about how awesome you guys all are, and how, yes, I probably could have lost 50 lbs on my own but having a blog made it so much easier and more fun. And what’s a blog without people reading and commenting? You guys have made this process greater than I could have ever imagined – you’ve given me advice when I needed it, support when I needed it, and tough love when I needed it. You’ve cheered me on, and many of you have provided me with inspiration through your own blogs. I just love you guys!

Aw! Can we get a group hug????

But seriously, I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to everyone, so I’m having my first give-away! Since my reward to myself for losing 50 lbs was a subscription to Cooking Light, I decided that’s what I would give to one of you guys!

So I’m giving away a one-year subscription to Cooking Light!

I love this magazine – the recipes are always amazing, and I always make at least a couple things. I like that the food is truly healthy, easy, and yet still classy. Nothing you’d be embarrassed to serve to guests. (i.e. no chicken dishes made out of cereal, baby food or diet coke.)

I know most of us are in dire need of new recipes, so to enter this contest, all you have to do is leave a comment telling me about a food / meal that you used to eat all the time and now are totally sick of. For me, it’s soup! I eat it every day at lunch and now I have to fight the urge to throw it across the room. YECH.

A couple of notes ...

- This contest is unfortunately open only to Canadian and US readers.

- I will draw the winner (via random number generator) at noon (EST) on Friday (July 31).

- And, just since there’s been so much talk lately about blog sponsorship and free products, I will mention that this is not sponsored in any way by Cooking Light! I just really like this magazine and am buying this subscription with my own pocket money!

makeover madness: complete!

It took a lot of time but I'm finally done with the blog makeover! I am soooo happy with it! I know most of you read this on feed readers, but I promise, it is worth a click through to see it. Shaun did this AWESOME illustration of me and I love love love it!

Originally we had made a deal that when I lost 50 lbs he would give me a blog redesign as a 'reward', but after we looked around at the specific functionalities of Blogger, we decided there was no point in reinventing the wheel. So instead I just searched around until I found a premade template that I liked.

He still wanted it to be a bit 'special' though, so he did this drawing of me. It is the best! I can't stop staring at it. He is so talented, no?

I also added a couple of new elements like an about page, (all you ever wanted to know about me and probably more!), my progress photos, and a page of stuff I've found useful so far on my 'journey'.

Okay! I have been parked on the blog for the whole weekend so far: it's time to do something else! Ideally something that does not involve sitting on my ass.

I hope you guys like all the changes!

makeover madness.

By 9a.m this morning I'd already been to the Farmer's Market and back, which included a bike ride that was entirely up hill (and, to be fair, one that was entirely down hill.) We got a ton of peppers, some summer squash, yellow beans, peaches, and free-run eggs. I'm so excited about these, supposedly fresh eggs taste different than the usual ones you get at the grocery store?

We also got some crazy fresh pasta that supposedly is the first totally local, organic pasta in Ontario? Where the flour is milled here and everything? I dunno, I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, and unfortunately I grabbed one of the packages that didn't have a label. Anyway, it's a fairly dark brown in colour and the guy said it was chewier and nuttier than regular pasta, which is what I love about whole wheat pasta anyway, so it should be good.

Anyway, I called this post 'makeover madness', because I'm doing some work on the blog template today, so don't be alarmed if anything looks, well, mad. Everything should be pretty as pie by tomorrow.

Have a great Saturday!

these are my people.

This showed up in my Google Reader just now, and I must say, it made me 'LOL', as they say. Thank you, Fail Blog!

goals and rewards

First off, thank you guys sooooo much for all your comments yesterday! I always appreciate all your comments so much, and I was so happy to have you all celebrating with me. Yay blog party!

I guess now that I’ve hit one of my short-term goals, it’s time to talk a little about goals and rewards, as per Amy’s challenge for the week.

But I have a confession: I don’t do the goals / rewards thing! Well, I set myself lots of goals, but my strategy is to give myself lots of ‘treats’ (or as HotchPotchery calls them, ‘prizes’) as I go, instead of a ‘reward’ at the end. To me, that’s more effective. When I hit a milestone, I’m usually so psyched, and on such a high, that it figure it’s better to actually keep all the ‘presents’ for those times that my motivation is lacking instead.

This is also a much more FUN method.

But let’s talk about goals briefly anyway:

Long-Term
My long-term goal does not involve a specific weight. (The truth is, I have no idea what I will look and feel like at any weight below 200 lbs. So I’m going to take my time and get to know the different weight ‘decades’ before I totally commit to a certain weight.) So I guess my goal is more that I can buy pants at any store. I suppose that would be a size 12-14, maximum. I would like to be at a place where I can truly consider myself fit and healthy. I also have it in my mind that I would like to someday run a half-marathon.

No specific rewards planned for those things. I buy myself new clothes every time I get to a new size, so I suppose I would buy even MORE clothes once I got to a size that I thought I might actually want to stay at. And regarding the marathon, I guess I’d choose to do it somewhere exciting, and the trip itself would be my reward.


Short term
Well, as we all know, I just hit one yesterday! Reaching 50 lbs lost has been a goal for awhile, and I was so excited to get there this week. My ‘reward’ was to get myself a subscription to Cooking Light, but in all honesty, I was kinda planning to do that anyway. I just waited until today so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty, since I could pass it off as ‘my reward’! Haha.

My next short-term goal is to get below 200 lbs. No specific reward for that, I’m pretty sure I’ll be bouncing off the ceilings though.

My other short-term goal is to complete the Couch To 5K. I actually do have a reward for this one, sort of. I really want one of those Nike+ running thingies (I love gadgets!) but it totally doesn’t make sense to buy one until, you know, I am actually doing some running. So I think it’s perfect to buy when / if I successfully complete the C25K.

So, no real rewards for most of these, but here are some of the various treats I have been known (or plan) to use for continued motivation:

- new workout clothes, esp. tanktops and socks
- New cookbooks
- Other books about food / fitness / health
- Magazines about food / fitness / health
- Workout DVDs
- New Scale
- At-home facials
- iPod arm band
- New yoga mat
- New gym bag
- New clothes at each new size
- Make-up and other fun products from Sephora
- New food processor or other kitchen gadgets
- Cute dishes or glassware

I did it! 50 lbs lost!

Well, I think the subject line says it all, don’t you? Actually, let me just say it one more time:

I’ve lost 50 lbs!

Weigh-in today and I was down 2.2 lbs, bringing my total to a nice 50.6 lbs. I got my ribbon and my charm and everything. :)

YOU GUYS I AM SO EXCITED! 50 lbs! That’s like, some kind of miracle! I am like some kind of … weight-loss angel! Ha ha! Just kidding.

I’ll probably post a few more thoughts later, but I just wanted to get that out. Now please excuse me while I go admire my ass in the bathroom mirror. Ha ha! (I was going to write "just kidding", but come on, we all know that's totally what I'm gonna do.)

a boot camp surprise.

A couple of weeks ago at boot camp, I had a little fit. By that I mean, I got all pouty because I kept feeling like I “was still the worst one there” and I “wasn’t improving at all!” So I cried a little to myself and basically had a little pity party right in the middle of class. I know, cool, right? Aren't you glad you read this blog?

Anyway, I just kept dwelling on the fact that I had seen a lot of physical improvement during the first four weeks, but felt like I’d really been stalled since then. Ten weeks (almost) with no real progress. Woe is me, I thought. I’ll never be any better than this!

Fast forward to a day later, when I was going through my movie shelf, and I found myself remembering how, during the first few weeks of boot camp, I always used to do the DVD they gave us. (They give you a workout dvd to do at home, because they say getting a third workout in is really crucial.) I used to be diligent about doing it, but I’d sort of slacked off after the first month.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Yes, luckily the cogs slowly started grinding. “Used to do the DVD … made a lot of progress in the first four weeks … stopped doing the DVD … stopped making progress…” The lightbulb went off!

So for the last week or so I’ve been making a lot of effort to keep up my routine outside of bootcamp. I haven’t been doing the DVD (I don’t really like it), but I’ve done the 30-Day Shred every day that I wasn’t in class. (It has a lot of the same basic elements – strength, cardio and abs – and even lots of the same moves. Except we don’t use weights in class.) I took a ‘rest’ day on Saturday.

And you know what? I feel stronger! I might have been imagining it, but I felt like class on Thursday was really good. I felt like I got a better workout, because I was actually able to push myself a bit further, rather than just struggling to keep up. I’m actually excited for class tomorrow, instead of dreading it, like I had been. And I’m actually kind of sad that I only have two weeks of classes left.

Who knew that you could actually get better at something, if you kept at it consistently? I know -- what a concept! I’ll take my Nobel Prize now, KTHXBYE.

Food Inc.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read that we went to see Food Inc. last night.

I hate to be one of those people who says a movie changed their life, because, man that is such a cliche, but. But.

Okay. I've always known that factory farming was pretty bad, but I think I found it easier to ignore that, or to tell myself it wasn't THAT bad. I also found that I would watch PETA ads or whatever, and just get annoyed that they were trying to manipulate me / my emotions by using the worst shots they could possibly find. Do you know what I mean? I knew that what they were showing was probably real, but I also figured it wasn't (it couldn't be!) the whole story.

Truthfully, I think anti-food industry types are just as capable of propaganda and misleading statistics as the pro-food industry types, and there were lots of figures in this movie that I found myself questioning. The film also did its share of emotional manipulation (you know what I mean, stuff like playing menacing music when the evil chicken farmers were on screen, playing sad music for the out-of-work small farmers, etc.) I'm not saying you shouldn't take this documentary with a grain of salt. Of course you should. You always should.

But.

I think the thing that struck me the most, of all the material presented in this movie is that, for big business, it is a NUISANCE that animals are actually, you know, ALIVE and HAVE CONSCIOUSNESS. And in some case it wasn't even a nuisance; it was just ignored completely.

(By consciousness, I don't necessarily mean on par with humans, but even the simplest animals know the difference between comfort and danger. They know pain. They know to fight against death. )

Animals (and the workers as well, for that matter) are a commodity. That's it. That's the very simple fact at the heart of all of this. Animals provide meat which people will buy, so let's get as much of it out as cheaply and quickly as possible.

There were a couple of scenes that really drove this home for me. There was a chicken farm where most of the chickens couldn't even WALK. They take a few steps and then fall over. There stomachs are raw from lying on the ground or possibly dragging themselves along. And the reason they can't walk? People like white meat, so the chickens are bred / engineered to have giant breasts, so they're top-heavy and can't support themselves on their little legs. They're also bred to grow a lot faster (more meat!) and their internal organs can't keep up with the growth rate, so many of them die before they even get to the processing plant.

There was also a scene where they were collecting eggs, out of these huge drawers, and many of the eggs had actually hatched, so there were tiny chicks in there with the eggs. And to watch the people handling them, you would think the chicks were nothing more than broken eggs. They were just dumping this drawers onto conveyor belts. There were women positioned alongside the belt and it was their job to get rid of the chicks, so they were just picking them off the belt, honestly LIKE THEY WERE DEBRIS. They had a little machine next to them that the put the chick's head in, to kill them. (I'm not sure if it was shooting some electrical current into their head, or if it was an actual physical thing like a blade or something? But either way: head in, dead chick.) There were dozens of women, scooping up dozens of chicks a minute.

I eat meat. I LIKE meat. And I eat eggs and I drink milk and I eat cheese and yogurt and all that other stuff. And to be honest, I still don't plan to give any of that stuff up. I don't necessarily think it's wrong to eat animals or animal products; I think it's pretty natural. But there is NOTHING natural about the way most of our meat is currently provided to us.

A random thing that I found shocking: that meat is processed in such huuuuuge quantities, that when you buy a pound of beef at the grocery store, it has meat from MULTIPLE cows. (In the movie they said thousands!) Because it's not like the cows are ground up one at a time, right? They're put into huge vats and all ground up together. I don't know why that never occurred to me before, but doesn't that seem gross and weird?!

The even crazier thing is that this movie isn't even really about the animal welfare aspect of the food industry. That's just a SMALL PART of everything that is FUCKED UP about the food we eat. I just can't get into it all of it here, because there's so much, but it was well high-lighted by Michael Pollan (the author of The Omnivore's Dilemna, and In Defence of Food), who talked about how he had written a book about what we eat and where it comes, and how crazy it was that he HAD to write a book about what we eat and where it comes from. It should be so obvious: a tomato, an egg. But it's anything but.

Fortunately, the overall message of the movie is actually kind of hopeful, and not in a hippy-dippy kind of way ("Hug your local farmer!"). The message (delivered by the owner of Stonyfield Farms) is that (to paraphrase): We are not powerless, as consumers. We cast a vote every time we make a purchase, and it's up to us whether that vote is for local or non-local, organic or not organic, overly-processed, overly-packaged, cage-free, etc. He basically says, if consumers want it and demand it enough, eventually places like even Walmart will have to start carrying it. It's simple economics.

This movie actually made me very emotional, but the whole time I was watching it, I was worried about what Shaun was thinking. He is much more critical than I am -- or, I shouldn't say 'critical', really, but 'logical', and less likely to be swayed by arguments like, "But that baby chick was so cute and then that mean lady killed it!!!" But to my delight (?), he seemed affected by the movie as well, and as we walked home, we made a plan to start going to the Farmer's Market, making more effort to buy local (especially meats and animal products), and just generally being more aware.

Because I think the movie is right, we do cast a vote every time we make a purchase. I want to know more about what I'm voting for. And I'm fortunate enough that, right now in my life, I can afford the higher costs associated with buying local and organic. (Trust me, I get that not everyone can. Although the movie cited an interesting statistic -- that in North America we spend less on food than anywhere else on the planet, in any other time. We spend only 9% of our income on food, and apparently it's typically much more. I'd be interested to know how accurate that is, but if it's true, it may be a sign that we need to rethink what we consider 'too expensive' to buy.)

Anyway, sorry for the super long post! Since yesterday, I've been thinking about this stuff non-stop. I think that when my weight climbed to 257 lbs, it was because I had my eyes closed. I didn't want to think about what I was putting in my body: the thousands and thousands of calories, hundreds of grams of fats and sugars, etc. Eventually I realized: I don't want to do this anymore. So I opened my eyes to what I was doing, and I started to change, one choice at a time. I think this is another opportunity, where I can choose to open my eyes and make a change.

i figured, Y not?

Yesterday I took the mental and financial plunge and ... joined the Y!

I'm excited about it! It's actually a very nice facility -- 2 pools, 2 gymnasiums, an indoor and outdoor running track, several studios, a bunch of squash courts, a large weight room, and of course, a 'conditioning room' where all the cardio and strength machines are kept. They have a ton of classes as well: cyclefit, runfit, boxfit, aquafit, etc., plus dance classes, yoga, pilates, step, and even some that involve weights and bars. (I think this is similar to Body Pump?)

It's also a perfect location for me. I'm not sure I mentioned this, but my office is only about a 15-20 minute walk from our apartment. (I know, life is sweet.) The Y is basically between them -- a little closer to work, but still probably only about a 10-12 minute walk from home.

The price was right too (I can get 5 months gym time for what I paid for 8 weeks of bootcamp! Oy!) And the thing that really pushed me over the edge was the 'green roof' they're building, scheduled to be done at the beginning of September. The outdoor track is up on the roof, and they're keeping it but turning it into a park basically, with tons of green plants and trees and grass and benches and even a little pond, and they're adding a yoga space as well. It's hard to picture, but look at this and imagine it filled with green:

I just love those skyline views. I think it'll be a really nice spot to go.

Of course, I do not exactly have the best history with gyms, so I'm a little nervous. I have a habit of, um, not going. But the gyms I've joined in the past have been crappy and had few options (ie, Curves). So I'm hoping I won't get as bored with this one.

There's also something a bit scarily ... open ended about the gym. With bootcamp, it's always been a limited time period, so on those days when I feel like I DESPISE the idea of working out, and would rather eat my sneakers than go to class, I can just tell myself, "it's only another three weeks! Go to class and in three weeks you'll never have to go again!" Sometimes that's all that got me up off my ass and out the door. Joining a gym is a harsh reminder that: THIS IS FOREVER.

But still, I think I'll find enough variety here to keep me interested for awhile. I love lap swimming and aquafit, plus the tracks will be nice if I decide to keep on with my (currently still pathetic) running attempts, and I like the idea of having access to all the machines and weights and such. Plus spin classes (which I've always wanted to try!) And boxfit (yay punching things!) And drop-in badminton (holy junior high!)

You know, I think if I can keep my own brain and neuroses outta my way, I'm going to love the gym. :)

Heart Rate Monitors: a question!

I have a (possibly overly-neurotic) question for those of you who use heart rate monitors.

When you’re done your workout, and you see the amount of calories burned, do you subtract your BMR from this amount?

Here’s what I mean. My BMR is about 1750 (according to the online formulas), so I burn about 75 calories an hour just doing absolutely nothing. Right? So on bootcamp days, I wear my HRM for 2 hours: half-hour walk there, one hour HARD working out, half-hour walk home. I usually burn anywhere from 1100-1300 calories in this two hours, depending on how hard I work. But then I always figure, I would have burned 150 calories anyway in those two hours. I mean, 150 calories was just my body doing its normal stuff, like digesting and blinking and whatever. So I minus those 150 calories from my total. Actually, I usually minus 200 calories to be safe. So if my HRM said I burned 1100 calories, I would only record 900, as in 9 activity points.

Am I doing this right? Or am I crazy? I was trying to find out whether or not HRM calorie counts automatically adjust for BMR but I couldn’t find anything. I have a Polar F6, if that makes a difference.

(PS: If any of you are CONSIDERING buying a HRM, I highly recommend it! I hesitated about buying mine, because it was over $100, but I’m so glad I did! I use it all the time and it definitely keeps me motivated (and honest!) )

An idea for the weekend.

Well, I really enjoyed taking all those pictures for yesterday's post. Now, I'm not going to start doing it all the time -- mostly because I eat pretty much the same thing every day and man, that would be the most boring food blog ever -- but I'm thinking I might use it as a tool to stay on track during the weekends.

The weekends are my biggest weakness right now (I'm SURE I'm not alone in that one!) so I'm thinking this weekend I'll try taking pictures of everything I eat, starting Friday night and going through to Sunday night. I'll post them all on Sunday night. That way you can all be like, "Seriously Andrea, I think I got fat just looking at all those pictures of Swiss Chalet!" Okay, hopefully it won't be that bad. :)

*****

I finished the book I was reading last night, and I forgot to pick up the sequel today like I was planning. Now I don't want to start another book because I still plan to buy the sequel, which means I have nothing to read tonight. Don't you HATE that?

I don't know about you guys, but I HAVE to read something before I go to sleep. I read a lot too, at least one and often two books a week. Shaun calls me a 'binge reader', which is kinda not surprising given my food issues. When I like something I just have to KEEP ON CONSUMING IT. I'm the same way when I buy a TV season on DVD, I have to keep watching it until it's over. You should have seen me when I got into Six Feet Under; I pretty much went into a coma for two weeks until I'd watched all five seasons.

It's funny, isn't it, how we can have all these parts to our personalities, and all these different habits and ways of being, and deep down it's all the same. All the same flaws, all the same crazy quirks, all the same ways of turning on and off, of being us.

Week 3 Challenge

As some of you know, the week 3 challenge for Amy's 15 Week Challenge was to have a whole day eating only real foods, (aka 'clean' foods). I crapped out on the last couple of challenges so I was determined to do this one.

Unfortunately, it meant rethinking my whole day, because most of my meals involve SOME processed foods.

My normal menu:

Breakfast is a vanilla Activia yogurt, with 1/3 cup of light granola and 1/3 cup all-bran 'buds', plus about a cup of berries.

Lunch is soup (I buy Pacific Foods in a tetrapak -- it's organic and has no preservatives, but it's still processed), along with a few crackers and a couple wedges of Laughing Cow cheese.

Dinner changes a bit more, but usually involves at least a pita or a tortilla.

Of course, I also have two coffees during the day, with milk and splenda, and often in the evening I have a beer or a glass of wine.

So lots of things changed today! Below are the pictures. (Sorry, Fatinah! :) )

I decided to start with a Green Monster! I used a cup of soy milk, 1/2 a frozen banana, a peach, and a few blackberries. And of course, several large handfuls of spinach!

Not sure why this picture is so crooked, I think I was half-asleep still! :) Anyway, sadly, this smoothie turned into more of a GREY monster, as evidenced below.

Still, I bravely poured it into my thermos and got ready to hit the road. The thing about eating this way meant I had to do a lot more preparation. Like, seriously, I never bring this much stuff to work!

Aw, good kitty, thanks for packing my lunch!

Anyway, my smoothie actually didn't fill me up too much, so around 10am, I had this hard-boiled egg.

Lunch was one of my faves: Lentils! These are so easy! I just put measured one cup (straight out of the can, after draining and rinsing them), mixed with lemon juice, ground pepper, garlic, and a dash of red pepper flakes, then microwaved it for 2 minutes or so and topped with goat cheese. On the side I had a ton of raw veggies, which I munched on all afternoon.

Around 3 I was desperate for a coffee, so I distracted myself with this 1/4 cup of blueberries, and a grapefruit.

Unfortunately, they did not keep me awake and this afternoon, I'm embarrassed to admit: I FELL ASLEEP AT MY DESK. Amy, my boss would like to have a word with you! Just kidding. :) Actually, no one saw me and it was just for a minute or two, but sheesh!

After I got home from work I: FELL ASLEEP AGAIN! Then I woke up just as I supposed to be leaving for bootcamp! So I hastily threw together this snack while getting changed. Greek yogurt with honey and a few blackberries. MAN this was good! I've never done the 'plain yogurt with honey' thing (I thought I didn't really like honey?) but holy yum!

And after bootcamp, I made this recipe from Cooking Light: Grilled Chicken Salad with Peaches, Pecans and Goat Cheese. It was super delish! You might want to click on the link to see a prettier picture of it, but here's what mine looked like:

They recommend using a store-bought rotisserie chicken to save time, but I just did up a breast on my counter-top grill. Tasted great to me!

So that was my 'real foods' day! It was pretty good although I found breakfast hard. I don't know if this is physical or mental, but I never really feel satisfied without some grains. But it nothing else, this challenge pointed out that most of the grains I currently eat are processed: granola, crackers, pitas, etc. So I think I'm going to make more effort to get better ones in: brown rice, whole wheat pasta -- and maybe even crack open that bag of quinoa that's been sitting in cupboard intimidating me for the last two months!

Also, I gotta say: I truly have no interest in giving up coffee. I am almost EXCITED to get up and go to work tomorrow just for that stop at Tim Horton's. AW YEAH.

WI results and randomness.

Weigh in today and I was down a hilarious 0.2 lbs. So I still haven’t made it to 50lbs. BUT after the weekend I had, I’m happy with the 0.2. I don’t know what happened to me this weekend. I had a run-in with a bag of corn chips like you wouldn’t believe. That kind of stuff doesn’t usually happen to me anymore, or so I thought. Mental note: do not let your guard down around chips! They are the devil, if the devil were salty, greasy and delicious.


Today I’m also doing Amy’s ‘clean eating’ challenge. Well, you know my feelings on the term ‘clean eating’, so let’s say I’m doing a ‘real foods’ challenge. :) Photos and more details to come in a later post, hopefully tonight.


Also, yeah, I guess I’m on twitter now? Follow me here, if you want! I am, of course, acakeforawife!

the roles we play.

I want to talk about friends and personalities and habits, and the roles we play. I want to say something that I’ve been thinking about but I’ve been having a hard time putting it into words, in a way that’ll make sense. Let’s try.

A little over a year ago, I had a bit of a revelation, about my life and my weight and a few other things.

Wait, back up.

I used to have a lot of friends, and I went to a lot of parties and got together with people after work to do stuff and have picnics and craft days and movie nights and potlucks and barbecues and clothing swaps, and whatever, we did lots of stuff. What I mean is I had a big circle of friends, and I had a lot of fun.

I had a role in that group of friends: I was ‘hapless yet hilarious’.

I’m a pretty decent storyteller, and a surprising number of bizarre things seem to happen to me, and so I kept people amused by telling these stories, setting it up in a way that’s like, “only me! This could only happen to me!”

Like, an example: one time I slipped on a patch of ice while walking down the sidewalk. Not a big deal, right, everyone’s done that? Of course, I happened to fall at the exact same time that a firetruck was passing, so the truck pulled over and half-a-dozen uniformed firefighters rushed to my assistance. Hello? Who falls down and gets rescued by passing firefighters, right? Only me! And people love these stories. So in my group of friends, I was the hilarious screw-up.

“Can you guys believe I haven’t filed my taxes in four years! Ha ha ha, I’m so useless! Let’s all drink some beer!”

“Oh my god, I went home with this guy I met at a bar and he wanted to watch an animal documentary while spanking me! My life is so crazy!”

(These are all true stories. Not even joking.)

Anyway, so I guess what I mean is, I set myself up to be kind of funny and pathetic. And what I realized about a year ago, the big revelation I had, was that it wasn’t just with my friends. I had, at some point, internalized this persona. It was me now. I WAS funny and kind of pathetic. Hapless yet hilarious!

And it was like a steel trap.

I felt stuck. I would never get out of my crappy job. I would never lose this weight. I would never get my finances in order. Because all those things would involve being competent. Strong. Determined. Focused. It would involve taking myself seriously.. And I couldn’t see a single one of those qualities in myself. I saw someone who made a mess at every turn. I saw someone who’d turned her whole life into a bad comic strip.

I didn’t know what to do but I wanted to change. I started to save up some money. I gave notice at my crappy job. And I stopped seeing most of my friends.

The job thing was the biggest gamble, but I did end up finding something great, something in my field, and I’m sooooo thankful that I did. I got a little of my professional confidence back. And since the job is with the government, it pays (a lot!) better than my old job, so my finances are in better shape. And in November, I set my mind to losing weight, and I’ve done it. Or, at least, I’m doing it. You know what I mean.

And in the meantime, I changed how I saw myself. I don't see myself as being so hapless, or helpless anymore. I see someone who can do the things she puts her mind to. I see someone who decided to change her life and then did.

But I’ve really had to focus on myself this year to do it. I’ve been basically a hermit for the past year and now I’ve started feeling … well, lonely. So in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been seeing some of my old friends. Getting together for drinks, planning picnics, going to the art gallery.

And it’s been wonderful, don’t get me wrong. My friends are amazing, so smart and funny and filled with life. But I already see myself slipping back there, back into my role.

“My family is a disaster, I basically pretend I’m an orphan!” I found myself shouting yesterday, in between shoving cheese pastries in my mouth. “My dad sold our house and moved in with some woman on the other side of the province, and he still hasn’t told me any of this! I had to hear it from my mom! I go on facebook now and it’s filled with pictures of his new family! What a mess! Oh well, I guess he won't bug me to have kids now since he's got 'grandkids' now! Let’s order another pitcher of beer!”

That story, about my dad, breaks my heart, but I turn it into a joke, because that’s who I am with my friends. The bad comic strip, where nothing goes right but it sure is funny! And I find myself eating and drinking the way I used to, because cake and beer were comforting, when nothing else was going right, and they were comforting yesterday too, and I could see myself, walking straight back down that same road, walking straight back into that. same. steel. trap.


It's all mixed up in there: Who I was and who I am now. I’m scared of gaining this weight back, but I’m scared of being lonely. I don’t know how to reconcile who I am now with who I was then. The new me might be competent but she’s kind of boring too. Will anyone like her? Do I even like her?

I have to say something about something.

There is something I have to get off my chest.

I hate. HATE. I mean, DESPISE. the term 'clean eating'.

It seriously makes me want to punch people! I hate how smug it is. I hate how it implies that any other kind of eating is 'dirty'.

The thing is, I'm about 90% on board with the principles behind it. Yes, I agree that whole, natural foods are probably better for you. Yes, I think that over-processed foods probably do something a little weird to your body. But the moral superiority that seems implicit in calling it 'clean eating' just makes me gag. I honestly find it a bit offensive.

I guess I prefer how Kath refers to it as 'real food' on her awesome blog Kath Eats Real Food. At least calling it real is (somewhat) more objective. It IS more real -- it doesn't have so many fake man-made chemicals, or processing. It's in its more original, authentic (real) state. So that's kind of okay. But clean is just such a loaded word here. I'm genuinely uncomfortable with the comment it makes.

This post is not directed at anyone in particular! Actually, I don't even remember anyone talking about this much lately. It's more brought on by the fact that I picked up an issue of Clean Eating magazine the other day, and I really quite like it, but I'm totally embarrassed buying it or carrying around because I think I look some holier-than-thou wanker.

Anyway, that's all. I just had to say it. Clean eating = boo, for me.

hey, remember that time I went to vegas?

I finally got all our Vegas photos up onto Flickr if anyone is interested. You can check them out here!

*****

Speaking of photos, Chez Julie posted a question on her blog about how people manage posting a lot of photos to their blogs, and I'm curious too. Right now I upload a batch of photos with my USB cord, and then use Live Writer to post them onto my blog, but it feels quite tedious. Does anyone have a more streamlined process? Or, like, one of those fancy wireless SD cards?

WI results and a question about kickboxing.

Weigh in today and I was down 1 lb exactly, which I’m excited about because it takes me out of the 210s and into the 200s! (And into a new points range.) WOOHOO! It also brings my total loss to 48.2! I’m going to try really hard to make it to 50 lbs next week. That’s only 1.8 lbs – I can do it!

And now, a question!

My friend Abbie and I are considering taking a kickboxing class once boot camp is over, but I’ve been looking into and I’m not really sure what kind of class we should take.

Do we take something authentic like this Muay Thai kickboxing class, or should we take something more like the ‘cardio kickboxing’ or ‘fitness kickboxing’ classes offered at gyms? I don’t know much about kickboxing – the main we reason we decided to do this is that we both agreed that BY FAR the funnest part of boot camp is when Kelly comes around with the punching pads and we just go at them as hard and as fast as we can. It’s seriously so fun, and such a good stress reliever. And way better than punching the air! So I want a class that actually involves punching pads or bags. But I’m not ready for anything like sparring. So I don’t know!

I know some of you have taken kickboxing so I’m curious about your experience. Any input or thoughts welcome, I’m seriously at a loss here!

revolutionized.

Yesterday Was A Wonderful Day For Yesterday I Have Done Purchased A George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine.

Seriously, why I have never done this before?!?! I've been complaining for, oh, four years now about my lack of outside space and how much I miss grilling on the barbecue, but it never even OCCURED to me to get a counter-top grill. I mean, I know it's not the same but it's definitely better than nothing, and definitely gives me tonnes of new options for cooking healthy food.

Yesterday our inaugural meal was HAMBURGERS. I know, not the healthiest, but it's what we had on hand! Plus, uh, we were celebrating July 4th with you Americans! Yeah, that's it. :) Anyway, I was so excited I made Shaun take a picture. Here you can see our hideous kitchen featuring: the smallest amount of counter space known to man, and cupboard doors that never close! Also me, looking like a dork.

But anyway, the burgers turned out great! I even grilled the buns for a minute, which was such a nice switch from the normal microwave defrosting. I had mine with a bit of salsa and guacamole, and on the side I made a 'Fiesta Salad', (I don't know, I just made that name up!) with brown rice, black beans, mango, orange peppers, tomato, and carrots, plus a ton of chopped cilantro and a dressing of olive oil, lime juice, and chilli powder. 'Twas delish!

Do you have a counter-top grill? What's your favourite thing to cook on it? Any tips for a newbie like me?

to the water.

Guess where I'm going on Friday after work??

 

If you guessed "Body Blitz spa for a therapeutic water treatment", you're totally right! (And also totally psychic and a bit creepy!)

 

The therapeutic water treatment consists of alternating hot and cold:

- 10 minutes in a warm sea salt pool then

- 1 minute cold plunge

- 10 minutes in a hot green tea pool

- 1 minute cold plunge

- 10 minutes in an infrared sauna

- 1 minute cold plunge

- 10 minutes in an aromatherapy steam room

 

I might have mixed up the order a bit but you get the idea.

 

The pools are supposed to have all sorts of health benefits, everything from improving skin tone and elasticity to easing muscle soreness and inflammation. But mostly it's just a chance to relax and be a little pampered. And be in the water! Which I love. I'm going with the two girls I go to Boot Camp with, so I feel all three of us deserve a little love, don't you? We've been doing bootcamp for 12 weeks now! Oy vey!

 

Anyway, check out these gorgeous pictures of the pools:

 

 

 

 

I NEVER do stuff like this (I've never even gone for a massage!), so this should be a real treat. Yay!